Ingela Thuné-Boyle, PhD
International Health Coach 
Online Practice

For individuals who have spent their lives over-accommodating, appeasing, and diminishing themselves to maintain peace, establishing boundaries may seem unnatural or even unsafe. This behaviour, known as fawning, is often a trauma response that develops in environments where one's safety relies on pleasing others or avoiding conflict. Over time, this survival strategy becomes ingrained: agreeing when we want to refuse, enduring discomfort to prevent disappointing others,

For those who have endured narcissistic abuse (i.e. a pattern of aggressive, manipulative, and controlling behaviors used by someone with narcissistic traits to gain power over another person), the concept of setting boundaries can feel foreign, threatening, or even selfish. In relationships where one’s sense of self has been repeatedly minimized, invalidated, or manipulated, boundaries may have been consistently dismissed or punished.

Living with a chronic illness is already a profound challenge. It often requires immense physical endurance, emotional strength, and a support system that understands the unpredictable and often invisible nature of long-term health conditions. But when someone with chronic illness is also in a narcissistic relationship - whether with a partner, parent, or close family member - the burden can become exponentially heavier.

Intermittent reinforcement is an unpredictable and inconsistent pattern of rewards or responses (i.e. a pattern where affection, approval, or connection is unpredictably given and withdrawn). It has profound psychological and physiological consequences, particularly when experienced in close relationships. Common in emotionally abusive, manipulative, or unstable environments, this behavioural pattern keeps individuals locked in cycles of confusion, self-doubt, and emotional d