Dr. Ingela Thuné-Boyle
Health Psychologist
Online Therapy

For many living with chronic illness, the word acceptance can feel loaded, even offensive. It may carry the sting of resignation, suggest defeat, or imply a passive tolerance of pain and limitation. To be told to "accept" one’s condition can sound dismissive, especially when that advice comes from those who do not grasp the daily realities of chronic illness. And yet, paradoxically, acceptance is also a cornerstone of psychological flexibility and emotional well-being.

Health psychology is a vital and evolving field that explores how psychological, behavioural, and social factors influence physical health and illness. While traditionally associated with chronic illness, pain management, and health behavior change, health psychology also plays a critical role in addressing trauma and grief. These profoundly human experiences, which are often undetectable by medical tests, significantly impact both mental health and physical well-being.

Grief is an intensely personal, unpredictable, and nonlinear experience. It touches every corner of a person’s life - mental, emotional, physical, spiritual - yet society often treats it as something to be managed quickly, quietly, and within an arbitrary timeframe. When individuals fail to conform to these unspoken rules of "acceptable mourning," they may be met not with empathy, but with judgment, discomfort, or outright criticism - a phenomenon known as grief shaming.

Experiencing a major bereavement is among the most painful and destabilizing events a person can face. When that loss is traumatic, unexpected, violent, or profoundly significant, it can leave deep psychological scars. For someone already living with a chronic illness, the impact of traumatic grief is compounded, creating a complex intersection of physical vulnerability and emotional devastation. Navigating this dual burden can feel like trying to heal two wounds at once

Grief is a natural reaction to loss, but it doesn’t follow the same path for everyone. When a death is sudden, violent, or deeply...

'Medical trauma' refers to a patient's psychological and physiological response to a negative or traumatic experience in a medical...

Grief is usually associated with a single event such as the death of a loved one. However, in chronic illness, grief is also very prevalent despite the fact that no one has died. It can be an ongoing issue and is usually associated with many types of losses. Despite this, people don't often associate chronic illness with grief but the realization that life will never be what it was, and the future is not what you thought it would be, is a major loss.

Refusing to accept symptoms or limitations brought on by chronic illness is a good thing, right? It stops us from giving up, does it not? It drives us on. It makes us fight harder, look for better treatments or, perhaps, even use it to maintain hope for a cure. It's a great motivator! Well, maybe to some degree but in the long-term, all it does is lead you down the path of suffering. Hear me out.