Dr. Ingela Thuné-Boyle
Health Psychologist
Online Practice

For many living with chronic illness, the word acceptance can feel loaded, even offensive. It may carry the sting of resignation, suggest defeat, or imply a passive tolerance of pain and limitation. To be told to "accept" one’s condition can sound dismissive, especially when that advice comes from those who do not grasp the daily realities of chronic illness. And yet, paradoxically, acceptance is also a cornerstone of psychological flexibility and emotional well-being.

Living with a chronic illness often involves not only physical pain or fatigue but also the ongoing challenge of explaining your condition to others. For many people with chronic conditions, one of the most exhausting and isolating aspects is the repeated need to clarify, justify, or defend their limitations to healthy people who simply do not understand.

Health psychology is a vital and evolving field that explores how psychological, behavioural, and social factors influence physical health and illness. While traditionally associated with chronic illness, pain management, and health behavior change, health psychology also plays a critical role in addressing trauma and grief. These profoundly human experiences, which are often undetectable by medical tests, significantly impact both mental health and physical well-being.

While healthy individuals are currently experiencing a huge amount of uncertainty and even hardship as a result of the Corona virus, their lives will eventually get back to some kind of normal - maybe even a new normal - but with far less uncertainty. Most will eventually re-establish their routines and feel some sense of control over their lives. However, for those of us with a chronic illness, that sense of future uncertainty was always there and continues to cause havoc wh

When we live with a chronic illness, it's so easy to focus on our shortcomings. So easy to fall back on self-criticism and self-blame. You may feel guilty because you're no longer able to contribute to society in ways you would like to. You may feel embarrassed and ashamed over medical symptoms. You may feel inadequate as a spouse. You may not feel like a good enough parent to your children. You may feel like you let your friends down because you've had to cancel on them more

So, I've recently experienced quite a major bump in my ever present, complicated relationship with illness. My quality of life has been absolute crap despite my best efforts. I've had endless issues where nothing I did appeared to provide any relief whatsoever. This is not new to me. Indeed, I've been here before. Quite a few times actually yet each time, a quiet sense of despair sets in and my future seem very uncertain and bleak. Basically, I start to lose hope.

Refusing to accept symptoms or limitations brought on by chronic illness is a good thing, right? It stops us from giving up, right? It drives us on. It makes us fight harder, look for better treatments or, perhaps, even use it to maintain hope for a cure. It's a great motivator! Well, maybe to some degree but in the long-term, all it does is lead you down the path of suffering. Hear me out.

I read an interesting blog article recently. It was written by a woman who felt completely overwhelmed by her illness, especially the chronic pain she was experiencing. Her doctor suggested that she may benefit from a referral to a Pain Rehabilitation Program that included physio therapy, occupational therapy and psychological support, but after years of not having her illness properly validated, her symptoms minimized and often being told, "It's all in your head,"