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Unrecognized Trauma: When the Body Tells the Story

  • Writer: Dr. Ingela Thuné-Boyle
    Dr. Ingela Thuné-Boyle
  • 3 days ago
  • 4 min read
Unrecognized Trauma: When the Body Tells the Story

Many people seek therapy for health-related concerns without realizing that their symptoms may be rooted in much earlier relational experiences. They arrive focused on chronic pain, fatigue, autoimmune conditions, anxiety around health, or a sense that their body has let them down. What they often don’t come with is a story of trauma, at least not one they recognize as such. Instead, they describe childhoods that were fine, not that bad, or nothing compared to what others went through, even as their histories reveal long-standing patterns of emotional invalidation, unmet needs, or chronic relational stress.


For many clients, trauma is associated with clear, distinct events such as abuse, violence, or significant loss. When these are absent, it can feel inaccurate or even offensive to describe their childhood as traumatic. Yet from a developmental perspective, trauma is not defined solely by what happened, but by what was missing. Ongoing experiences of emotional neglect, inconsistency, dismissal of feelings, or pressure to perform rather than be understood can shape a child’s nervous system just as profoundly as more visible forms of harm. When a child’s internal world is repeatedly unseen or minimized, their body adapts to survive within that environment.


These adaptations often appear later as strengths: high achievement, self-reliance, conscientiousness, and an ability to push through discomfort. Perfectionism, in particular, is frequently rooted in early environments where approval or safety felt conditional. The child learns that being good, capable, or low-maintenance is the safest way to stay connected. Over time, this can become an internalized demand to do everything right, to cope without support, and to blame oneself when things go wrong. When health problems emerge, this same logic often turns inward: "If I were stronger, more disciplined, less sensitive, I wouldn’t be struggling like this."


Because these patterns developed slowly and relationally, they rarely feel traumatic to the person living them. They are simply how things were and, later, how I am. Many clients therefore approach therapy seeking to fix their bodies, manage symptoms more effectively, or learn to cope better, without recognizing the degree of self-criticism, hyper-responsibility, and emotional suppression they are carrying. The body, however, often tells the fuller story. Chronic tension, pain, exhaustion, or heightened stress responses can reflect a nervous system that learned early on to stay alert, contained, or over-functioning in the absence of reliable emotional support.


A common theme in this work is self-blame. When childhood experiences are not recognized as impactful, responsibility for ongoing difficulties is placed squarely on the self. This may result in feeling ashamed of struggling, frustration with one's body, and repeatedly trying to push past limits instead of acknowledging them. Clients may feel they are failing at health in the same way they once feared failing at relationships, school, or work. Without an understanding of developmental trauma, compassion for these patterns can be hard to access.


Therapy frequently involves subtly broadening the understanding of trauma, not to label or exaggerate past events, but to provide context for the present. This means helping clients see that their responses make sense given what they had to adapt to, and that their symptoms are not signs of weakness or personal failure. As this understanding develops, perfectionism can soften, self-blame can loosen its grip, and the body may no longer need to work quite so hard to signal distress.


Recognizing developmental trauma is not about rewriting one’s childhood as bad, but about acknowledging the cumulative impact of not being consistently seen, soothed, or supported. For many clients, this change is profoundly reassuring. It allows health struggles to be understood not as isolated problems to conquer, but as part of a larger story of survival, adaptation, and resilience, one that can now be met with care rather than criticism.


If this is something you’ve been affected by, please leave a comment below. If there’s something important you’d like to add, please do so. I'd love to hear from you.


If you liked this post or know someone who might find it useful, please share. You can also join my mailing list at www.ingelathuneboyle.com for regular blog notifications straight to your inbox! Please check out my other blog posts here.


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Dr. Ingela Thuné-Boyle is a licensed Practitioner Health Psychologist and a Doctor in Behavioural Medicine who specializes in improving the quality of life of people struggling with long-term health problems, chronic pain and trauma. She runs a private online (telehealth) practice at www.ingelathuneboyle.com. You can find out more about her background [here], and more about her approach to therapy [here].

📩 Contact: For therapy or other enquiries, you can contact her at info@ingelathuneboyle.com.


Please note: Advice given in this blog is not meant to take the place of therapy or any other professional advice. The opinions and views offered by the author is not intended to treat or diagnose, nor is it intended to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed physician or mental health provider. The author is not responsible for the outcome or results following their information and advice on this blog.

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