Still Worthy: Finding Self-Worth in the Face of Chronic Illness

Living with a chronic illness can quietly erode a person’s sense of self-worth. In a society that often values productivity, independence, and physical health, individuals with chronic illnesses frequently feel left behind, both practically and on emotional and existential levels. When illness takes away the capacity to work, engage in social activities, or partake in daily life without significant effort or pain, it can lead to the internalization of a distressing belief: I am less worthy because I am unwell. This belief, although untrue, can become deeply ingrained, strengthened by stigma, insufficient support, and even the well-intentioned yet dismissive attitudes of others.

An individual's sense of self-worth is profoundly reshaped by their lived experience. Where once identity may have been shaped by societal ideals or external achievements, it often must be redefined in more personal terms. Illness disrupts familiar roles and ways of living, requiring a re-examination of value and purpose in light of new realities. Many find themselves questioning their worth when they can no longer contribute in the same way they once did. The need to cancel plans due to pain or fatigue, or to rely on others for everyday tasks, can give rise to guilt, shame, self-doubt, and a feeling of being a burden. For some, the loss of a career or an identity tied to strength and independence intensifies this struggle, deepening the challenge of rebuilding a meaningful sense of self.

Yet worthiness is not earned through health, achievements, or independence. It's innate. Everyone is worthy of love, care, dignity, and belonging regardless of their physical condition. Chronic illness does not make someone less than; it simply changes the context in which they live. It may reduce their capacity in some areas, but it often expands their capacity for empathy, resilience, creativity, and depth. These are not small things. They are human strengths that matter just as much, if not more, than productivity or performance.

Furthermore, addressing internalized stigma and self-judgment is crucial for reclaiming one’s self-worth. Society often conveys the idea that usefulness equates to value, but this standard is both unfair and damaging. Individuals with chronic illnesses are neither broken nor burdensome. They are dealing with a reality that requires tremendous strength, often unseen by others, and this strength deserves acknowledgment.

Cultivating a sense of worth while living with chronic illness involves unlearning these toxic narratives and building new ones rooted in self-compassion. It means celebrating small victories, honouring limits without shame, and surrounding oneself with people who uplift rather than undermine. Therapy, peer support, and advocacy can also serve as helpful tools in this journey.

In the end, reclaiming one’s worth is not just a personal act; it's a quiet form of rebellion against a world that too often overlooks the value of those who are sick or disabled. It's a declaration stating: I still matter. I'm still worthy, just as I am (that feels like something Mr. Rogers would have said!).

If this is something you’ve been affected by, please leave a comment below. If there’s something important you’d like to add, please do so. I'd love to hear from you.

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Dr. Ingela Thuné-Boyle is a licensed Practitioner Health Psychologist and a Doctor in Behavioural Medicine who specializes in improving the quality of life of people struggling with long-term health problems, chronic pain and trauma. She runs a private online (telehealth) practice at www.ingelathuneboyle.com. You can find out more about her background [here], and more about her approach to therapy [here].

📩 Contact: For therapy or other enquiries, you can contact her at info@ingelathuneboyle.com.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

What does a health psychologist do?

A health psychologist helps people cope with the emotional and psychological impact of chronic illness, pain, and other long-term health challenges. These experiences often involve major life transitions - changes in identity, daily routines, relationships, and sense of control. The goal of health psychology is to support emotional adjustment, resilience, and quality of life while helping you find ways to live meaningfully alongside health challenges.

Can psychology really help with chronic illness or pain?

Yes. Psychological support can reduce stress, improve coping strategies, and ease the emotional burden of living with a long-term condition. Therapy can help you navigate the transition that often comes with ongoing illness; grief for what has changed, uncertainty about the future, and the challenge of redefining yourself beyond your diagnosis. This also includes addressing medical trauma, i.e. the distress that can arise from difficult or invalidating medical experiences, and restoring a sense of safety, confidence, and trust in your body and in healthcare.

Is online therapy effective for chronic illness and pain?

Research shows that online therapy can be just as effective as in-person sessions for many people. It also offers the benefit of accessibility and comfort, especially for those managing fatigue, pain, mobility limitations, or unpredictable symptoms. Therapy can meet you where you are, both physically and emotionally.

How do I know if therapy is right for me?

If you are struggling emotionally with a health condition, adjusting to a new diagnosis, or feeling overwhelmed by ongoing pain or fatigue, therapy may be a helpful step. A health psychologist can help you make sense of these changes, develop new coping tools, and support you through the transition of living with a chronic condition, so you can find stability, meaning, and hope in the midst of it.

Please note: Advice given in this blog is not meant to take the place of therapy or any other professional advice. The opinions and views offered by the author is not intended to treat or diagnose, nor is it intended to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed physician or mental health provider. The author is not responsible for the outcome or results following their information and advice on this blog.